When you and your former partner have children together and are in a situation where there is likely to be a joint custody arrangement, you will both probably have one question on your mind.

Is it possible for our child or children to be happy in two separate homes?

The answer is yes, but you need to be very mature and open to communication with your former spouse to achieve this. So, read on to learn more.

Keep Communicating With The Other Parent

This is important to ensure that you and your co-parent are on the same page, at least in relation to who has the children and when.

Be open to compromise and be willing to make concessions in order to reach a resolution that is in the best interest of the children. If communication is difficult, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor to help resolve conflicts. You can find information about how to reach compromises with your former spouse at Two Healthy Homes if needed.

Minimize Conflict

This is a big one. You should never argue in front of children, especially if they are very young, as it can stunt their development and will certainly not make them happier.

Even if you and your ex are at loggerheads, you need to leave conflict at the door. Make sure to communicate clearly and calmly with your co-parent, avoid using accusatory language and try to focus on the needs of the children.

You should both seek to clearly define the roles and responsibilities of each parent and establish boundaries to avoid any confusion or overlap. Creating a detailed plan that outlines how you will jointly raise your children, including schedules for parenting time, school, and extracurricular activities, can help with this and will ensure that you are both on the same page.

Keep Rules The Same

Keeping rules the same across households is important for children because it provides them with consistency and predictability. When rules are consistent in both homes, children can feel more secure and know what to expect, regardless of which household they are in.

Additionally, it can help reduce confusion and conflict for the children. If the rules are different in each household, it can be nearly impossible for children to understand what is expected of them, and this can lead to feelings of confusion and frustration.

Having a shared parenting plan and clear communication between both parents about the rules and expectations can help ensure consistency across households and provide children with the structure and stability they need to thrive in the wake of a divorce.

Create Stability

If your home is unstable, then your child or children are not going to want to visit you, even if you give them the latest iPhone or Xbox!

Young children love stability, so you should aim to keep the routines the same as they are when they are at the other parent’s home, as this creates predictability, which will help the child to feel safe, and thus happy.

Have Fun!

When spending a weekend with you, your child or children certainly won’t want you to be moaning at them about work or their other parent. Not only is this unfair, but it is exposing them to adult issues at an early age.

If you have your child or children for the weekend, make it fun! It doesn’t have to be expensive; you can have fun planting seeds or watching films together. As long as it is positive, your children will be happy.

Published: 2023-01-24 00:13:37