There are times when you’re invited to a wedding, but you cannot attend. And this is completely fine. The reason for absence can be a commitment to a prior engagement, limited budget (especially if it’s a destination wedding), or even ill-health.

However, it is essential to regard wedding invitations highly. The couple has requested your presence on their big day. So courtesy demands that you should inform them if you can’t make it.

Turning down an invitation does not have to be awkward when you follow the right etiquette and guidelines of doing so. Here’s how to RSVP “No” to an invitation.

RSVP Promptly

As soon as you receive the invitation, let the couple know if you would not be attending. This should be done even when an RSVP is not required from you. Whether you are closely related to the couple or not, you should inform them of your absence in advance. If you received a formal invitation (such as linen stationery), you should respond formally. However, if the invitation is informal, you should also return your answer likewise.

Do Not Make Excuses

As said earlier, it is fine to decline a wedding invitation when you have prior plans or not enough funds. However, if you want to let the couple know your reason for not attending, you should use your discretion. You do not have to let them know the details as this can cause unnecessary problems. It would be best if you let them know you would not be in attendance. You must not dig into the reasons, especially if they can cause friction.

You can only make your reasons to known when you are closely related to the couple. If it’s a destination wedding, most couples would understand that you might not have the funds for it.
You can write a toast in honor of the couple and give it to a designated attendant, another known guest, or even the couple to read aloud.

Send a Gift to the bride and groom

It is not compulsory, but it is a thoughtful gesture to send a gift to the couple if you would not be in attendance. It does not have to be an expensive one. You can pick one from their wedding registry or choose something that you know they will value.

You could also add a note letting them know you regret being absent on their D-day but wish them good fortune. Of course, if you are not closely related to the couple, the gift might not be necessary. However, you have to send a handwritten note expressing your regrets, congratulating them and wishing them well.

Do Not Change Your Mind

Wedding RSVPs should be responded to, and you should stick to what your response stated, no matter how difficult it is. It is challenging to plan a wedding, and it’s harder when a guest gives you more uncertainty as to their attendance.

However, if you find that your prior plans have allowed you to attend but you have already sent an RSVP “No,” you should contact the couple immediately. Understand that someone else might have filled the slot after you initially turned down the invitation.

Published: 2019-08-28 14:28:22