Adults understand the importance of a first impression. People of all ages tend to make snap judgments when they meet someone for the first time based on their appearance, their speech, and their demeanor. Sadly, children often don’t realize this and wear whatever they like without thought about what their clothing is saying about them.
Parents can be of great help in teaching their children how to find their own style and what they enjoy wearing. However, this must be done carefully during the teen years to avoid alienating the child. How can a parent accomplish this goal without a lot of strife?
Provide a Budget
Supply the child with a set amount of money and do not budge on this amount. The child can then purchase what he or she likes, within reason. The child needs to understand that buying a $200 pair of jeans simply because his or her friends all have them often isn’t possible with the amount of money they have. The sooner this is learned, the easier life will be for him or her in the future.
Furthermore, the child needs to recognize that stud earrings for teens may be cute but buying them might not be possible with the money available. If the child wants the earrings or the jeans, he or she must work for the additional funds just as adults do.
Set Limits
Moms and dads need to let their children know that certain articles or clothing or particular styles of dress will not be accepted. For instance, most parents do not want to see their son walking around with his undergarments exposed or their daughter showing an excessive amount of cleavage. Often, children rebel when they are given these limits, and parents need to sit down and explain their reasoning for why the child isn’t allowed to wear that type of clothing.
For example, a child may wish to wear certain color combinations on a regular basis. If these colors are associated with a local gang, wearing them can lead to trouble the child is not anticipating. However, they aren’t aware of the association between the gang and the colors unless they are told by their parents. A simple conversation to explain the situation can go a long way in avoiding fights, as it shows the parent is not saying this just to be mean to the child but is concerned about his or her safety and wellbeing.
Know What To Argue and When to Let Something Go
Parents need to learn to pick their battles. If a child comes out wearing something the parent doesn’t like but is still appropriate, let him or she wear it. Adults and children often like different things, and parents need to allow their children to be independent in certain areas of life. Let them do so at this time so they can grow and become their own person while still receiving guidance from mom and dad.
However, this does not mean parents should let every outfit they don’t like fall into this category. Remembering the above tips, moms and dads find it becomes easier to identify those clothing choices that cannot be allowed and those that are acceptable if not attractive in the parent’s eyes. Many kids like to argue about everything. Parents need to know when to expend the energy and actually engage in the fight and when to let things go. Doing so helps to teach the child what is important in life and what they can let slide.
Set a Good Example
Actions speak louder than words. Adults need to set a good example for the children in their life when it comes to their clothing choices. For instance, a mom wearing shorts that barely cover the derriere cannot criticize her teen daughter for choosing a similar outfit. Dads who wear t-shirts and dirty jeans every day of the week likewise cannot expect their son to willingly put on a suit and tie for everyday wear. When setting limits for the child with regard to clothing choices, parents need to make certain they are staying within these same limits.
Compliments
Don’t overlook the value of compliments when it comes to your child’s fashion sense. Even when a parent does not like an outfit, he or she needs to find something about the attire to compliment. This boosts the child’s confidence and can be of great help when his or her friends pressure the child to make inappropriate clothing choices. This also goes to show the child that he or she has the freedom to express their individuality through the clothing choices they make.
Shopping Together
Moms and dads should go shopping with their child to get a better understanding of their fashion sense. When in a store, parents need to monitor the child’s clothing choices and make suggestions as to outfits that can be created using the items while staying in the established guidelines. Don’t hesitate to request the assistance of the sales staff either. They can be of great help in directing the child to suitable choices and children tend to be more receptive when it is coming from another adult rather than their parent.
Young Children
Toddlers, preschoolers, and even many elementary school children want to pick their own clothes and come up with horrible combinations. Every parent has likely had to explain to a child that you cannot combine certain articles of clothing without clashing horribly or that shorts aren’t suitable when it is 20 degrees outside.
To help children during this stage of life choose their own clothing, take them shopping and pick out some items they love. Moms and dads can then create outfits using these items and give the child a choice between two outfits each day. The child still has some say in what he or she wears and the parent knows the outfit is appropriate. Everyone wins in this situation.
Children need to grow and develop their own personalities, including their own style. However, doing so requires guidance and support from the parents. Clothing choices tend to be one area where moms and dads clash with their kids on a regular basis.
Let the child wear jeans with holes in them as long as they remain modest when doing so. Allow the t-shirt with the caption as long as it is not vulgar or offensive. However, give children other clothing options as well. Doing so helps to guide them to find their own personal style while still wearing those items parents can tolerate or love.
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