The new year is the perfect time to finally master French cooking, start an online business, try Pilates or plant a garden. But, for many of us, the thought of trying something new brings a sense of dread or fear — which is often rooted in the pressure to be perfect.

According to a survey of Canadian girls aged 16-24, 85 percent report that the pressure to please others and be perfect lead them to fear any misstep, and 79 percent agree that social media is a key contributor in this feeling. But experience shows that persevering through failure is actually essential to learning and building new skills.

As they approach adulthood and look back, the study found, many girls recognize that the moments when they struggled through a setback led them to grow more resilient. In fact, the top three things gained from working through failure are increased knowledge, strength and confidence.

That’s why it is important for society to encourage girls to keep going even when they don’t immediately succeed.

And this lesson surpasses age, gender and work status.

In a Fortune interview, Google co-founder Larry Page discussed his company’s early days: “You have this fear of failing and of doing something new, which is very natural. In order to do stuff that matters, you need to overcome that.”

Page suggests that being real, being whole, and being innovative are the keys. “When you take steps to enrich your life by moving in a direction you choose, you build the confidence needed to take further steps in creating sustainable change,” he adds.

Winnipeg’s Kris Thorkelson, the owner of My Place Realty, says you shouldn’t be afraid to try new experiences. “You have to be bold and brave and stop worrying about rejection or making mistakes because both can be instructional over time.”

According to Kris Thorkelson, “It’s the drive to create something out of nothing and watch it grow that motivates a person to shake off failure in order to achieve a degree of success in life – whether you’re a writer with a rejected manuscript, or like me, you have experienced some failures in business. It’s the motivation to create something new that helps you get past it.”

My Masungi Georeserve Discovery Trail Experience in Baras, Rizal

Noam Shpancer, a practicing clinical psychologist in Columbus, Ohio, says that whenever you avoid something that scares you, you tend to experience a sense of failure and your anxiety gains strength.

But confronting your fear instead of backing down brings about a sense of accomplishment and empowerment. Every time you confront your fear, says Shpancer, you gain power while your anxiety loses strength. On the behavioral level, confronting your fear repeatedly helps develop skills and mastery.

Keith Rollag, the author of What to Do When You’re New says humans are wired to be wary of new experiences. From an evolutionary standpoint, trying new things could have been dangerous.

“However,” Rollag adds, “living in the prison of avoidance isn’t easy either, and it isn’t much of a life. The short-term discomfort of exposure is the price we must pay to purchase a valuable long-term asset—a life free from debilitating anxiety.”

Published: 2019-01-02 11:33:38