- Avoid The Arguments
Regardless of what friends, family or popular media portray about divorce, it doesn’t have to become a battle! You’ve come to the end of your relationship and being combative will just make things harder during the transition phase. Ultimately, try to find common ground with your ex. If you can learn to work together and be on the same page, the process will feel infinitely easier.
Of course, finding common ground doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to feel hurt, angry, depressed or emotional if you feel you need support visit Claritychi.com. Divorce encompasses a wide range of emotions that you will feel during the proceedings. However, if you can remain at least civil on the surface, you can ensure that your divorce goes smoother and in some instances, you may even have the option of avoiding a costly attorney.
- Don’t Speak Of The Past
Divorce means that both parties have been seriously hurt in the relationship, but when it comes to divorce, it doesn’t help your cause to rehash the past. Airing your grievances will just make you both angry again and ultimately, make you feel emotionally volatile. Leave the past where it belongs and move forward into a different sort of relationship.
Of course, if you have no reason to keep in touch with your ex after the divorce, you can avoid communication. Keep everything you talk about strictly business and simply move on after the divorce. However, if you would like to stay friends or have any relationship moving forward, you both need to agree that the past needs to stay in the past. This is often easier said than done, but it is possible as long as you talk about the present and your future.
- Control Your Anger
When communicating with your ex, chances are that your past grievances will bubble to the surface and your anger may try to get the better of you. Many people have trouble controlling their anger, however, for the sake of an amicable divorce, try to keep your interactions positive.
If children are involved in the divorce, it is doubly important to avoid fighting and focus on how you plan to raise the kids in joint custody. Shock, anger, and blame are commonly felt by those going through divorce, but for the sake of communicating with your ex, try to push those feelings aside. Whenever you’re not in the presence of your ex, you can deal with these emotions with the help of a support group or a therapist.
- Avoid Making Demands
It’s easy to fall into the trap of making demands versus requests when filing for divorce. Be careful about how you phrase things because even a pleading request may come across as a demand if not carefully phrased. Without using the right words to express what you want, you run the risk of making things worse between you and your ex and starting yet another fight.
For example, you may want to sell the house you lived in together. Instead of proclaiming that you’re selling the house, why not ask how they feel about selling the house? How you phrase anything really plays on someone’s perception of you and it can also cause undue anguish when your thoughts don’t translate well to everyday conversation. The idea is not to force your ex into a corner. Rather, give your ex the chance to voice their own assent or concerns.
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